A Quick Thought Exercise to Set the Stage

Imagine a life where your sense of purpose is perfectly aligned with every aspect of your existence. You are on top of the world—whether as a successful business owner, professional athlete, or veteran—fully confident in your identity. Your life purpose is clear, your mission is driving, your daily routine is disciplined, and the tribe of people you surround yourself with is unwavering in their support. You know exactly where you’ll eat, sleep, and what you’ll wear. There’s no question about who you are or the life you lead.

But then, the next day, everything changes.

You wake up and suddenly feel different. The identity that once brought you so much confidence feels distant, almost foreign. The purpose that drove you feels hazy, your mission seems unclear, and your daily routine becomes burdensome. The people you once counted on seem to drift away. You’re not allowed to return to them. The people you sacrificed for don’t seem to have as much room in their lives as you thought they did for you. You’re eating alone, struggling to sleep, and your clothes feel like a costume rather than a true reflection of who you are. The life you knew so well, the one that made sense, now feels like a distant memory.

Who am I? What am I doing? Why am I here? What is next? Why is this so hard?

What happened to your life?

Identity:

• Before: You were the leader, the protector, the one others looked up to.
• Now: You question your worth, wondering if your past accomplishments even matter.

Purpose:

• Before: Every day was filled with a clear sense of direction—whether it was leading a business, excelling in your sport, or serving your country.
• Now: You ask yourself, “Why does any of this matter?” The purpose that once lit a fire in your soul now feels extinguished.

Daily Routine:

• Before: Your days were structured and productive. You thrived on the routine, knowing it kept you sharp and focused.
• Now: The routine feels pointless, each day blending into the next without meaning.

Tribe:

• Before: You were surrounded by a community of like-minded individuals who understood your journey.
• Now: Those connections feel strained or lost altogether. You’re isolated, even in a crowd.

Comfort in the Known:

• Before: There was stability in the predictability of your environment.
• Now: Everything feels uncertain, and the once comforting routines are non-existent or now feel suffocating.

This sudden shift from confidence to confusion, from purpose to purposelessness, creates a profound sense of aloneness. You can’t talk to your spouse about it because you don’t want to burden them. Your kids notice your sudden increased involvement in their lives, wondering why Dad or Mom is so different now. Your best friends are too busy or don’t understand what you’re going through. Your past colleagues are too busy and focused on their continued purpose, making you uncomfortable communicating with them.

You’re isolated.

Main Causes of Isolation:

• Loss of Identity:
  • Example: A veteran who once identified as a soldier now struggles to see their worth in civilian life, feeling like their best days are behind them.
• Change in Routine:
  • Example: A former athlete who no longer trains daily loses the structure that kept them grounded, leading to a sense of aimlessness.
• Disconnected Relationships:
  • Example: A business owner whose success isolates them from their family and friends, creating a gulf that seems impossible to bridge. This feeling is worse when they move on to their next adventure in life as no one understands what it is like trying to find a new purpose for your life.
• Inability to Express Vulnerability:
  • Example: A veteran who feels they can’t share their struggles with anyone because they’ve always been the strong one, the provider, the protector.
• Misalignment of Purpose:
  • Example: A professional who has achieved all their career goals but now feels empty, unsure of what comes next.

Proposed Solution (What I Am Working On): Reclaiming Your True Identity

The way out of this isolation isn’t found in external achievements or returning to your past routines. You have created a wonderful life that can be gone in a flash. What you are experiencing is a testament to that fact.

Having experienced the feeling of isolation, these are a few of the major points that helped me through it.

As my friend Tommy Breedlove says, “You are your most important asset!” A resilient and enduring identity, able to weather the storms of life, is built by investing in yourself!

What does this mean?

When everything else fails, what do I have left? Those are the things to focus on. The dreams, knowledge, skills, and experiences you accumulate are essential. What can you do to prepare for losing something because of events out of your control? These can be a career, friends, family, or possessions.

Having an enduring identity does not mean things will not be extremely painful when they happen, but how can you be confident in your ability to “feel the feels” and move forward?

Here is how I work through it and what I try to pass on to my children and friends:

Believe in something greater than you. That does not have to mean the same thing for you as it does for me. My faith is something that I am constantly striving to improve, and here is where I am at the moment:

• You are good: You are a child of God, made in His image, and inherently good. This truth is the core of who you are, the identity that will carry you through every season of life. Your past and current accomplishments, mistakes, thoughts, and actions are not who you are. They are things you’ve done or are doing, but they don’t define you.
• Forgiveness: Forgive yourself for the times you’ve fallen short. Forgive others who have hurt or misunderstood you. My favorite saying about forgiveness is that not forgiving others is like drinking poison and waiting for the object of your dismay to die.
• Dream: The underlying hope and passion created by exercising your dream muscle is a piece of my resilience that I have only recently discovered. The definition of a dream is something that would make you happy if it happened in your life. They are not commitments, and they are not goals. Dreams evolve with you. Lastly, please share them with others to create deeper connections and inspire and be inspired.

Take these steps to move forward with the understanding that your value is intrinsic, not dependent on your external circumstances. Embrace the truth that you are good, and let this truth guide you as you take steps to do good things.

Reconnect with your purpose, not as a role or title, but as a mission to live out the goodness within you. Surround yourself with a community that reflects this truth to you. And remember, no matter how isolated you feel, you are never truly alone. You are seen, known, and loved—by God, those who care for you, and the community you choose to serve!

How Can You Help?

At Patriot Growth Capital, we are fighting today’s isolation epidemic by investing in everyone we serve.

We invite you to join us in changing veteran family trees through business. Whether you are a veteran family member looking to change your family tree, an investor who wants to change veteran family trees and receive capital gains tax-free returns, or a business owner who wants a veteran family to be the caring pair of hands for your legacy, employees, and customers—the first step is the same: invest in you, to be the best version of you, who is resilient and deeply connected. We have continuous opportunities to work and grow together!

Join our mission here!